SAVAGE

And I’ll think of you every now and then, remember every bittersweet moment we shared but you won’t have that power over me, not anymore.

I’ve run out of ways to prove to you that I’d be the best thing to come home to.

The first night I met you, could’ve sworn you were the one for me. A year later of no talking, and I still swear you’re the one. Will you ever make your way back to me? I miss you dearly, my love. You slipped right out of my hands, I should’ve held you tighter. What are you doing, my love? I’ve slipped your mind but my mind hasn’t slipped you. Are you lost, my love? I’ve called and texted you and you don’t reply, I just want you back. Can you hear me, my love? My heart has been yearning for your return. Is that you, my love? I’ve run into you quite a few times, but hid in fear that you wouldn’t converse with me if you saw me. Why won’t you talk to me, my love? Come back, my love.

You know, sometimes I wish I’d known it’d be our last time. Our last kiss, our last touch, our last conversation. I wish I’d known because I would have paid attention to the details. The way you tilted my chin up with your hand before your lips brushed mine, the way your gentle hands caressed my skin, the way you smiled whenever I tried to make you laugh, even though what I said wasn’t remotely funny. But I didn’t. I didn’t pay attention. Because how was I to know it was the last time, that there wouldn’t be one to follow? All I see when I try to remember are your ghosts that still haunt me - but one day they’ll eventually leave me too. You turn into more of a stranger with every passing day.

I am feeling very sick. I have a heart in my stomach which throbs and mocks. It gets impossible to look people in the eye: corruption may break out again? Who knows. Small talk becomes desperate. Sick mind, too.